12/22/96 Is It A Really Wonderful Life? by Rocci Hildum This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of the film classic "It's a Wonderful Life" in which Jimmy Stewart portrays the generous, thoughtful and ever sacrificing George Bailey. George is rescued from committing suicide on Christmas Eve by a guardian angel named Clarence who reminds him of how many persons his own life has touched and how much would be lost if he had never been born. We purchased the video, a colorized version of that classic several years ago and it has become a family tradition to watch it several times as the short days begin a relentless march toward Christmas. It has become for me a sort of refuge from the inescapable materialism that Christmas has become and helps me to delight is a simple pleasure, watching a warm and wonderful film that celebrates positive values with my wife and daughter. This year's fiftieth anniversary of that film got me thinking. The basic premise of the number of lives that are touched and affected by each individual life got me thinking. And a little boy who I will call Jimmy got me thinking too. If you wait, I hope that these will all relate to each other in just a few moments. In the film, George gets to see what Bedford Falls and the people he has come to know, love, respect and even despise would be like if he had never been born. True to Frank Capra's legacy, George's life has touched so many people in so many positive ways that the consequences of his not having been born vary from old Mr. Potter owning virtually the whole town, Violet Biggs turning into a dance hall floozy, and hundreds of men dying on a transport ship in World War II. I wondered if it is really true that each life affects all of the others they touch, how has my life been affected by the people I know and meet. Would I be a different person if I had never met my wife. My daughter would never have been born and I would not be a Papa. I wouldn't be a parent helper two days a week at Sunnyslope Elementary where children happily calling to me from the playground last week filled me up with pride and pleasure like a big balloon. That's obvious. What about Jimmy? How has meeting Jimmy affected my life? Has meeting Jimmy unalterably changed the course of my life? Is the world now a different place because I met Jimmy? Jimmy is a nine year old boy with the emotional and developmental age of six on a good day. That's because of the tremendous abuse and neglect that Jimmy has experienced. It's the consequences of Jimmy, and his five brothers and sisters being beaten and going without food while his mother and father dressed in expensive clothes and drank all night and used drugs. And because Jimmy's father and mother fulfilled their parental obligation to educate Jimmy and his older brother about sexuality by making them watch as a parade of strange men abused their sisters. I don't need a therapist or social scientist to tell me that all of this and the more I haven't told is why Jimmy's life is a mess, why he can't sit still in class and why he still can't read or write or even identify all the letters. It's as obvious as the bald place where hair never grows on the back of Jimmy's head where his mother pulled out his hair. Is the world a different place since I met Jimmy. I like to think so, but maybe it's just what I like to believe, what is easier and more comfortable to believe. You see I met Jimmy, and his brother and sisters, about two years ago when as a volunteer for the court I started monitoring their placement in foster care and reporting to the court. I told the court that I didn't think Jimmy should ever be returned to his mother who married one of the men who sexually abused her daughters the day after they were taken into care. Jimmy's mother was diagnosed with a severe personality disorder and the docter said that he felt that the prognosis for any type of recovery was remote. I have traveled thousands of miles and spent literally hundreds of hours with the children, the parent [Jimmy's dad has been gone and missing for several years, currently at large and wanted by law enforcement and probably in another country], teachers, therapists, lawyers, counselors, foster parents. I don't think that Jimmy's mother has the emotional or intellectual capacity to care for her children in a way that is safe and nurturing and I told the court so. I am in disagreement with the therapists, but the foster parents, teachers, counselors, and the doctor who completed the psychological evaluation of Jimmy's mother all agree with my assessment; Jimmy's mother loves her children but cannot parent them in a safe way. Jimmy and his brothers and sisters want to go home and live with their mother. I understand that. Last month the court decided that despite a history of intensive involvement with the child welfare system with the only result being an increase in the frequency and intensity of the child abuse, the therapists were being given another opportunity to try and return the children to their mother. It is very different from what I recommended to the court, it's what Jimmy and his brother and sisters want. Now I am thinking, what impact has my life made on Jimmy's? Is he mad at me for telling the court not to send him home? Much more importantly will he be safe, will he ever be fifteen? Will he ever learn to read and write? Will Jimmy's life, a life that seemed destined to head towards crime and violence be different because he met me? I missed the point of course. Those are the wrong questions. The question is, am I different because I have met Jimmy? In the movie it is the realization of George of the importance and value of his own life that prevents him from throwing away God's greatest gift. That one is obvious too, now that I have the right question. I am different. I am a child of God and I know it in a way that I would never have known it before I met Jimmy. It really is a wonderful life. Rocci Hildum Sunnyslope COB Wenatachee, WA Oregon-Washington District